Believe.
This is my very favorite word during the holiday season. I got hooked on it when I first watched The Polar Express. It’s such a simple message.
Believe in Magic.
Believe in Goodness.
Believe in God.
Believe in Christmas.
Believe in Santa Claus.
So why is it so horrible to let, or worse, encourage children to believe in Santa?
I have a friend (who shall remain nameless…unless she reads and wants a debate) who went off on a rant with her Facebook status. She was posting about how awful it was that we teach our children to care about an isolated old man who lives in the arctic and sneaks into peoples homes in the middle of the night. She actually compared Santa to a pedophile! She then commented about how she thought “lying to kids for the sake of lying was creepy and mean.”
What?
Are you kidding me??
Oh, my friend. It’s not creepy and mean. It’s called magic and make believe!
Innocence and imagination is the one thing that only children have.. They grow up and that goes away.
Gone.
Poof.
Like magic.
So why is it so terrible to let them believe in magic? Why can’t I give my children this amazingly fun and wonderful experience that is theirs alone? What is so mean about that? They will come to the realization that magic and Santa Claus is not real soon enough.
I remember being 10 (or maybe 11) years old when I learned the “truth.” Did I think my parents were horrible lying sacks of crap? Did I think they were mean and creepy for shoving Santa Claus down my throat and making me believe in “nonsense.”
uummm…no.
I was worried that if my mom found out that I knew, then Christmas would be over. I didn’t want the magic to end. So then I played along and I don’t think I told my mom that I knew until I was an adult. Knowing the “truth” never made Christmas less wonderful. And knowing about Santa Claus never took away from Christmas being the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ either.
I was not ruined.
I was not lied to.
I was taught that magic exists.
And I still Believe.
I sorta agree in the sense that I don’t like lying to my kids about some magical man that creeps into your home at night. My husband and I fought over this one. He grew up in a home where Christmas wasn’t celebrated (no Santa either) and wanted to do the Santa thing with the kids. I on the other hand always thought the Santa stuff was bologne even though my parents tried to keep it real for me. I just don’t feel right lying to my kids about it then later down the road telling them, “oh hey, guess what, Santa isn’t real, sorry I lied”
I think you can still have fun and do Santa activities (milk/cookies..reindeer food, etc) while telling kids the true story behind Santa Claus.
See, I just don’t think it’s “lying.” I think it’s feeding their creativity and imagination. Something children have anyways. If the day comes and my boys ask me point blank if Santa is real, I will tell them the truth. That he’s pretend and something fun about Christmas. But I don’t think he’s a lie.
Thanks for commenting Cat. At least the way you put it wasn’t so negative as my other friend was.
I definitely don’t think it’s wrong to let children believe in Santa! I don’t know if I ever really believed in Santa, but I always played along and it was so much fun. We had presents from Santa under the tree, my dad would stomp on the roof, and he even did firecrackers outside my bedroom window (I shared with my sister) one Christmas, saying that the Santa’s sleigh was taking off. It was FUN and I loved the togetherness. We’re also Christians and it never messed up my ability to believe in God, either.
Santa and God, two totally different things. Not that you said anything about that, it just crossed my mind. Good post! Have fun this Christmas!
I can see what Cat is saying, too. I don’t really want to lie to my kids… I’ll probably let them have fun with the Santa stuff but not try to persuade them that he is real. It’s not important for me to convince them that he’s real, I mean. Other kids will tell them he’s not real anyway, right? lol
I see nothing wrong with it at all. Our whole family “believes” in Santa. EVERYONE in our family gets a stocking from Santa, from my 3mo old niece to my 96yr old grandma. It is fun, so what is the big deal? Does she rant about the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy too? Yeah, probably.
I totally believe that children should get the opportunity to believe in magic and fairytales. Childhood is such an innocent, fleeting moment in our lives that I see no harm in allowing them to dream or fairies and men who leave presents under the tree. I remember the excitement of finding out Santa had visited while we slept. It wasn’t until I got a bit older when I realized Santa had the same handwriting as my mom that I realized Santa didn’t exist. Christmas was never the same after that. I fully intend to keep my daughter believing as long as possible but when she’s ready to know the truth, I’ll tell her. Until then, we can’t wait to see Santa this year!
I have a friend that isn’t telling her kids about Santa either. I don’t get it. What’s so wrong with kids believing in something magical or make believe while they’re little? My kids love talking about Santa, writing him letters, making him cookies and being as nice (HA) as they can (they could be nicer though) to each other. It’s supposed to be fun! My kids also believe in the Tooth Fairy, the Sandman, the Easter Bunny, the Elves, all things fairies and now, St. Nicholas who leaves them money in their shoes, one day a year, while they’re sleeping. They love it!
I believed in Santa and all things magical when I was little and those are some of the best memories I have. Waking up on Christmas morning and seeing the milk, cookies and carrots (for the reindeer) gone and seeing the mess Santa made on our carpet while climbing out of our chimney, was so exciting! I hope my kids never stop believing!
I’m sorry but I think that’s sad. What’s wrong with letting a kid be a kid? Learning that Santa was a lie didn’t warp me in any way and I kept the fun alive for my sister who is 6 years younger than me. It was FUN. And you know what else? As a parent I reserve the right to lie to my kid about anything I want. My chocolate bar is spicy, the cookie jar is empty and the noisy toy is out of batteries. I am the adult and she is the child and I’ll decide how she experiences what she needs to to become a balanced adult.
LOL about the spicy chocolate bar! That’s a perfect analogy.
I love your point of view. Josh and I are still trying to decide what to do for Lizzie. I grew up in a Christian home and my parents told me from day one that Christmas was all about Jesus’ birth not presents and that Santa was a cultural figure and not real. I never felt like I missed out on anything not believing in him. They let me have fun with it – kinda like the easter bunny or tooth fairy. They let me visit him in the mall but we didn’t open presents from Santa.
I have another friend named Eric who grew up believing and then when he learned Santa wasn’t real he felt betrayed by his parents. He was confused about why they would lie to him.
I think I will do what my parents did. I will tell Lizzie that he isn’t real but that it is fun to pretend.
Oh and I really hope parents who tell their kids the ‘truth’ also tell them how important it is to let other kids believe. I don’t like the idea that they might ruin it for other kids in their class.
I completely agree with you there, we are sort of going through this right now with our oldest son. He is 8 and asked us and figured out he wasn’t real but we have asked him not to say anything to his younger brother to let him believe until he figures it out.
I remember being heartbroken when I discovered our “make believe” fantasies weren’t really real. But, I want my girls to enjoy the same excitement I did as a kid. For that matter, I can admit…I STILL thought there was a tooth fairy up until I was TEN. One night though, my mom was tired and fell asleep before putting my “treat” beneath the pillow. And I CRIED. Why? As my Mom later reminded me my words were “Now I don’t have anyone to believe in.” Ouch.
Let our kids enjoy it. If they grow out of it they will. Don’t force them to not enjoy that fairy tale dream.
You mention the tooth fairy. When I was little, I used to seal up my envelope and draw all over to try and “trick” the tooth fairy. My dad took great care in steaming open the envelopes so he could put money in and remove my tooth. I believed in the tooth fairy for a very long time because he did such a good job. And it’s one of my favorite memories of my dad. That he loved playing tooth fairy so much that he put so much detail into it. I loved that. I never felt “tricked.”
We’re in the middle on this one. We have Santa and wouldn’t specifically tell our kids it isn’t true or anything like that, but if (when) they come out and ask, “Is Santa real?” I’m telling the truth. My mom (hi mom!) thinks it’s just awful of me to do that instead of keeping it going. I think when they’re old enough to ask, they’re old enough for a discussion about Santa representing the spirit and magic of Christmas. I’ve put a bit of thought into it and I think when my oldest finds out, we will make it a little right of passage for her and she will get to be Santa—sneak her out of bed at night to eat the cookies, take her to help pick out stocking stuffers, etc… Once both kids know, I’m considering making it into a bit of a homeschool lesson—learn about (and follow) how one culture/country handles their version of Santa each year along with still doing our Santa thing (which is always the stockings on Christmas morning, all presents are Christmas Eve)
I’m not sure what we will tell our son. We never talk about Santa so when adults ask him what he wants Santa to bring him for Christmas he just looks kind of confused. I think we’ll just explain to him that some people believe in Santa and some people don’t. I think it’s great to create traditions around Santa as many of your readers are doing. Sadly, my husband and I are a bit lazy about the holidays. We haven’t even bought our tree.
I have no issue at all with letting kids believe in something. I grew up in a very religious household, and we are a very religious family, so the focus of Christmas is on Christ, not on Santa, but we still believed in Santa.
My family, still, puts out cookies and milk on Christmas Eve even though my youngest brother is 16, and he knows. It’s still a fun holiday tradition. Did any of us feel gypped? Nope. Not at all. Since Christmas isn’t about Santa anyways, it didn’t take any of the magic away.
I don’t think that daydreaming about how your fairy godmother will come rescue you when you hate doing chores, or pretending you are a flying is any different. Do you know it’s not true or it’s not going to happen? Yes, most likely. Does that mean you can’t dream about it for a little while? Nope.
I think a kid should be able to be a kid. They should be able to enjoy all the pretend and make-believe things as long as they can. It’s what makes a kid a kid! I don’t want little adults running around. That’s what makes the holidays so much fun!
I think kids should have the opportunity to experience the magical things in life. If you look at our society we are so caught up with the pressures, with the tasks we all have to do, no one ever lives in the present moment. Things for kids get older and older, and we are asking them to do things, I never even remotely got to do when I was their age. I believed in Santa till I was 9, and I still believe in my own magical way. I love seeing my kids faces just light up…life is magical for them anyway. It’s not so much about belief, its about creating something bigger than fact or fiction. You instill those creative things in them and that carries on later. I cannot wait for Santa to come this year!
I tell my kids that Santa is magical. It’ gets me around the lying to them thing (because Christmas IS all about magic as far as I’m concerned). This way I don’t have to explain why they see two different Santas in one day and how reindeer fly and how they get to every single child’s house in the whole world. It’s magic. Pure and simple.
I love the fact that my son still believes in Santa. I actually dread when he doesn’t believe anymore and knows the truth. There’s just something so amazing to see his face light up in the morning opening the presents. And i get excited too, just to see his reaction. I love acting all surprised. I guess I dont understand why anyone wouldn’t want their kids to believe. For the rest of his life, he won’t have anything magical like this to believe in, and lets face it….reality and adulthood sucks!
No kidding! Reality does suck, I wish I was a kid who believed in magic again.
I believe in Santa to this day. I love Elf when he finds out that there is less magic in Christmas because kids believe parents give them gifts. And he says, “Parents can’t do all of that in one night!” LOL.
I love Christmas for celebrating Jesus. I believe Santa is the magic of giving. We are all capable Santa. I love giving gifts AS Santa, meaning we don’t get the recognition. You give for the joy of giving, not the thank you’s that may come. So Santa is magic, Santa is the spirit of giving to bring joy to others and I don’t think of it as a lie at all.
If my boys ever tell me there is no Santa, I will honestly tell them there is. And when they have kids of their own, I hope they do the same.
Oh – and when I was younger another kid told me that Santa wasn’t real. I told him he was, because my mom would never buy me so many gifts. Duh. (I was in the second grade!)
And when I was in College, visiting for the Holidays, my dad put the gifts under the tree on Christmas Eve – before midnight! GASP! I told on him (LMAO) and my mom made him hide them again and put them back after my sister and I went to sleep. How awful. But I NEED the magic and LOVE Santa.
Will this friend be telling their child 100% the truth forever and ever till death do them part? Doubtful.
ITS SANTA!
People really need to fight something worthwhile.
She sounds like Santa needs to forget her house this year. lOL!
Trisha
I don’t have anything to do with Santa. My kids never believed in Santa. It’s just not something we do. I am not morally opposed to it nor do I think there is something wrong with those who incorporate Santa in their homes. I think it’s a personal choice to be decided by the parent and no one else. I don’t think a child believing in Santa is harmful or will ruin a child. I don’t even think a child will feel lied to. It’s like a Christmas game. I just don’t do it. Just not my thing. Which is good since finances would prevent me from being a Santa! lol. I perfer to focus on our Christian beliefs. However, that is NOT to say that a Christian cannot have the Santa tradition. I think it’s a harmless thing to be decided by the family.
Excellent post and I agree with you 100%. We teach our daughter that the meaning of Christmas isn’t about Santa but it is a celebration of Jesus’ birthday. That being said we do still believe in Santa here and she has gotten presents under the tree on Christmas morning each year. There is so much sadness and evil in the world, why can’t kids just be kids. My 9yo still believes and for that I am thankful.
My children still believe. Heck, even I do, too. Santa just isn’t some jolly old fat guy who gives out free presents, he embodies the whole spirit of giving. I wait, because I know my days are numbered, in which my children won’t be able to believe anymore (I’m quite pleased my fourth graders still are holding on!) but I will do the following when it becomes quite apparent they think they have “figured it out” -
I will sit them down and ask them to tell me about someone in their class who is underpriviledged, or someone they know that isn’t well off that is in need. I will take them to the consignment shop to purchase said person an item, something they need, and we will go home, wrap it, shine it up real nice, and drive to this person’s house. We’ll tiptoe to the front door, quiet and sneaky (hopefully without rousing suspicion and a call to the cops!) and ring the doorbell and high-tail it away and out of sight. I can just imagine the look of joy on my children’s face when they see the look on this person gives in realizing they’ve received a gift seemingly out of thin air.
And that is how I plan to show them Santa exists.
I grew up in a Santa house and didn’t feel betrayed at all about the truth. I was even 8 years older than my brother and we helped to keep it up for him so that he could believe. In our home the argument with my ex wasn’t about letting them believe, he just didn’t want some strange guy getting credit for the good presents.
I grew up in a Santa house. My grandma’s house (where we went EVERY Christmas morning) had stockings for EVERYONE from my grandma/grandpa to my new born cousins. I remember up until ’08, I would still feel all excited and full of wonder to see what was in the stockings, even though it NEVER changed the big boys got Socks and Pens and the big girls got Perfumes and lotions. The little kids got age appropriate items. My grandma played into it too sayin she couldn’t wait to find out what Santa brought here. It always felt like magic in her house on Christmas.
That’s what I want to do for Owen. I loved it and never remember feeling cheated or lied to about not believing and always kept it a secret because my siblings were 4 & 8 yrs younger then we had even younger cousins and before I knew it I was having my own baby (lol) so I just want Owen to have the magic feeling even when he realizes it’s not real.
Wow! I think you hit on a hot issue here, Rhea! Look at all the comments!
I used to think (before I had kids) that I would not “lie” to them about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. Now (that I have a daughter) I love seeing the magic and excitement of the season through her eyes when read the Night Before Christmas or sit in the Easter Bunny’s lap for pictures, etc. When the day comes that she questions whether they are real or not, I will not force her to believe one way or another. But I agree with you–now I let her believe and savor the magic while she still can! I think it’s important to teach the REAL reason behind each holiday too, but mixing in a little make believe is a-okay
I grew up believing in Santa – even after I knew there wasn’t really a Santa! But my ex-husband and I got in a HUGE fight when we were still married over this. Our son was only 4 or 5 years old at the time and he told him that there was no Santa – that mommy was Santa! I wanted to throttle him! My poor son was just devastated! He continued to “act” like he believed for the next 3 years or so, but it kind of took the fun out of it for me. Now my 4 year old daughter still believes and I told my ex if he tells her otherwise, I’ll knock his teeth out! jk There is so much bad stuff going on in the world today and a lot of this our children are made aware of (i.e. kidnappings, war, etc) because they see it on the news or the parents have to teach them at an early age about the “bad people” in the world for their safety. I think they should be able to fantasize about a chubby little guy in a red suit who comes down our chimney once a year to deliver presents to all the good boys and girls. Let them dream and fantasize for as long as humanly possible is what I have to say!
I still believe. It’s a magical wonderful thing to believe in when you are a child.
My parents always told us, even when we were in jr. high and high school that if we didn’t believe, he wouldn’t come. Sure enough, my older brother said he didn’t believe one year and got a lump of coal. Seems funny, but I love that my parents instilled this magic and hope in us. I will continue to instill it in my kids.
Just had to post this since we’re discussing Santa! A friend pointed it out this evening and I made one for my daughter…it’s a really neat personalized video from Santa to your child. You put in their name, age, etc… and even what thing they done really good at this year and what they would like and it gets incorporated into the video. http://portablenorthpole.tv/home