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I’m a Homeschool Dropout

August 15, 2011 By 16 Comments

Well.  I did it.  I had been contemplating for weeks but on Friday I went and enrolled all the boys into the regular elementary school.

*sigh*

I never wanted any of my boys to go to this school.  It’s not got a good reputation.  But I also don’t want the boys in different school’s (what a nightmare!).  The school that I prefer is a public Montessori school which is fabulous…unless you have ADHD.  Classes with people doing different things at their own pace is like putting a kid in a room full of shiny objects.  So at the end of his Kindergarten year I decided to homeschool.

Homeschool went okay.  We had a hard time keeping on task (I wonder if I don’t have a touch of ADHD myself sometimes).  I couldn’t get organized, I couldn’t afford the monthly fee to the online school we liked.  So a lot of it was just very random and willy-nilly.  I happily called myself an “eclectic homeschooler” but really I just didn’t have a clue what I was doing.

Then it came time to enroll the twins in school.  They were finally going to be kindergarteners!  Where did the time go?

Bob and I talked and decided that I would continue to homeschool.  The public school system really scares the crap out of me.  It is very unsettling to send your kids off to school where you have to worry about guns and bully’s and such.  But I thought it would be best to have some help keeping me on track with their education.  So we enrolled in the public “home-study” program out of the Montessori campus.

It is a highly rated program where most of the school work is done at home, but you have the option to go into classes two days a week.  This gives the kids some fun time with friends, extra help in subjects and also adds in Science and Art away from home (so the mess is contained!).  I was very happy about this plan.

Until this week.

Being a stay-at-home-mom is a fabulous job.  But living in the great state of California is not cheap.  I started thinking that if I went ahead and put the kids in school then I could get a job.  With a second income (even if it’s only part time) our family would be so much better off.  I love my blog and I’ve tried to make an income off of it, but truth be told is that it’s not easy to make money here.

I hate telling my kid he can’t have something new because I don’t have money.

I hate my husband wearing the same pair of pants to work every day because we can’t afford another one.

I hate my dad buying me groceries.

I hate my husband being stressed out every single day trying to make ends meet.

My husband makes a decent wage on paper, but it is not enough in Southern California.  So, unfortunately, the kids will have to go to school and I will have to get a job.

At least the boys are excited to go.  Anthony’s little BFF next door will go to the same school and everyone is excited to go buy lunchboxes.  That makes the decision a little easier to accept.

 

Filed Under: Family Life Tagged With: , ,
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A Memo to “Working” Parents

January 9, 2011 By 9 Comments

What do you think when I say “working” parent?  Do you think of the one who leaves the house and goes off and receives a paycheck?  Well, I’m gonna tell you a little bit about what it means to be a true “working” parent.

My morning starts out around 7:30am.  I don’t get to sleep in and leisurely get up when I feel like it.  No.  I get up because I have a child in my face demanding chocolate milk.  If I’m lucky, I’ll only have one little boy to entertain until 8:30 or so.  But a lot of days, all three boys are up early and right off the bat I know that the day will be full of yelling and tears.

It doesn’t take long for the boys to start running through the house fighting with each other.  Then the little boys demand cereal.  Anthony likes to cook, so he usually heads into the kitchen and will turn on the stove (or yesterday it was the oven for some reason).  He busts out the eggs.  Several usually end up on the floor.   At this point I have to stop whatever else I might have wanted to do (I really needed that coffee) so that I can help him so he doesn’t burn the house down.  While I’m dealing with that, the other two will be throwing cereal on the ground or blowing bubbles in their milk.  Each one of them demanding something different, and all at the same time.

We’ve only just begun.

A thousand times throughout the day there will be fights to break up, time outs to enforce, and butts to wipe.  Arguments over super hero names and what games to play.  Somehow I manage to get some home schooling into the mix…when we’re lucky.

“Mommy, help me!”
“Mommy, I need my butt wiped!”
“Mommy! Mommmmmyyyyy!!!!! MOOMMMMMYYYYY!!!  I can’t reach the toilet paper.”
“Mommy, I don’t like that food!”
“Mommy, I only like macaroni and cheese!”
“Mommy, isn’t it cool how all this clay smeared so neatly all over the table?”
“Mommy, see the gazilion lego’s that I had so much fun pouring onto the floor?”
“Mommy, he hit me!”
“Mommy, he said ‘butt ass, again!”

Oh, and the arguing!  And I don’t mean between the boys.  This is an extremely strong willed six year old testing me every single moment of every single day.  It’s exhausting and mentally draining.

I still only want that cup of coffee.

Sometimes, we get out of the house.  But not often.  We only have one working car.  So when my husband leaves at 12:30 to go to work we are stranded and cooped up at home.  Lucky for us, my mom invites us out and about.  But getting out of the house does not equal a fun and relaxing time.

At the mall:

“Anthony, don’t touch that!”
“Nathan get your butt over here and stop hiding!”
“You have to go to the bathroom, again?” (Taking 3 little boys to the bathroom once is exhausting, let alone a hundred times).
“Get back over here!”
“Gabriel, Hold my hand”
“Don’t touch!”
“Don’t touch your brother!”

It seems everyone in the mall knows my childrens’ names.

At a restaurant:

“Eat your lunch” (a thousand times)
“Stop fighting over crayons”
“It’s ok, somebody has to lose the tic tac toe game”
“You have to go to the bathroom, again?”
“Don’t throw that!”
“Get up from under the table”
“You have to go to the bathroom, again??!”

Going out and having “fun” is usually a lot more exhausting than just staying home!

Then, the “working” parent leaves this chaos and goes to a building full of adults.  Adult conversation.  No butts to wipe.  The adults at your work aren’t usually fighting over super hero names or what game to play.  Sure, it’s “work.”  I give you that.  But I’m sorry, it’s not the same.  I have had a “real” job.  One that I got paid to hang out with grown ups all day.  I miss that.  This is not that.

So excuse me if I am a little bit pissed at you when you get 3 hours of childless quiet time at home and you don’t do a damn thing but play video games.  Then you go off to your job, come home, stay up late (more quiet non-child time) and sleep in late in the mornings.  That just seems like a splendid vacation to me!

Sure, you can say that mom’s “don’t work,” but we’ll say you are full of shit.  And we deserve a break from refereeing fights, wiping asses and being a glorified maid to the family.  Mom’s need a break so that they don’t lose their mind, which I’m pretty sure mine is half way gone already.

Filed Under: Mommy Time Tagged With: ,
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Sometimes Even Mommy’s Suck

January 27, 2010 By 15 Comments

I suck.

Somehow over the past year or so I’ve fallen off the mommy wagon.  The wagon where I was great.  Where I cooked homemade meals and made an effort to entertain the boys.  Maybe it’s because they are just so darn easy.

When Anthony was little, he demanded all of my attention.  I could not sit down at my laptop or a TV show and chill.  I was up and running and had to give him my undivided attention.  Always.  I still do.  I cooked meals for him when he was little and he actually ate them.  Maybe that’s why he’s such a good eater now.

The twins don’t need me for anything other then wiping their poopy butt or getting their chocolate milk.  They play and entertain each other all day long.  They don’t even notice if I leave the room.  They are perfectly happy eating chicken nuggets for every meal.  In fact, they prefer it.  My philosophy is:  why cook when they won’t eat it anyway?

So I’ve gotten myself  into a rut.  The rut of giving them chicken nuggets or PB&J for every meal.  Bob isn’t home at night so why bother with the effort of cooking?  I let them play video games and watch TV.  They are happy.

Now what does that make me?

Certainly not the great mommy I always wanted to be.  The great one I set out to be when I first had kids.

I wanted to be the cool mom who bakes with her kids.  Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass it is to try and bake with one boy, much less three??  It really sucks.  I avoid it at all costs.  Then I see other moms posting or talking about what fun they had making some craft or dessert with their 20 home-schooled kids.  Way to make a mom feel inadequate.  Sheesh.

I suck.

I love to cook and bake.  We (my DH) make a lot of home made bread, I love home made pancakes, and it’s FUN to make home made waffles shaped like hearts.  I’ve canned fruit and made my own jelly.  I even made some of my own peanut butter.  Last summer I picked oranges and made fresh orange juice for everyone.

I really do like this stuff.

So, why do I make chicken nuggets and corndogs for my boys for dinner?  Every night.  Even while I have cookbooks FULL of stuff I want and like to make?

Because I suck.

SO.  I’m going to change.  As I declare it here for the world to see.

A couple weeks ago I picked up this cookbook at Costco called “Family Feasts for $75.00 a Week.”  It sat on my table for a while before I even got around to looking at it.  But then this past week I started to read what the author, who happens to be a fellow blogger, had to say.

This woman, Mary Ostyn, is the mother of 10 children!  She makes all of their food from scratch (mostly) and spends less than $1000 a month on groceries for all of them (I think I read it was $800-900/month).  Hell, I spend nearly $700 some months and we are only 5 people!  And, she cooks everything instead of buying pre-packaged fare.

I was impressed.

She is everything I wish I was as a mother.

Mary has inspired me to try and do better for my boys.  I will NOT buy any more frozen chicken nuggets.  I will NOT buy any more frozen corn dogs.  Well, I might buy a few…I am sure the little people will resist my change. I WILL start trying to follow some of her tips in the book and see if I can’t reclaim my boys as mine instead of having them lost to The Force.

I’m going to start planning my weekly meals, eating out less, and actually cooking stuff.  She has some great ideas for getting this stuff done even during a busy week.  She buys meat in bulk and then cooks it as soon as she gets home.  She then portions it out into ziplock bags and puts it in the freezer.  Why didn’t I think of that??  Do you know how much boneless skinless chicken I waste because I have to thaw out a giant pack but can’t use it all fast enough?

Brilliant.

Mary Ostyn does not suck.

So I’ll be following some of her tips.  I’ll share with you what works for me and if I’ve made any progress towards my mommy reformation.

Go me!  Wish me luck!

Off to make some home made chicken nuggets…think they’ll notice?

FTC Disclosure:  This is not a sponsored post.  I was not asked by Mary Ostyn to talk about her book or promo it in any way.  I actually bought the book myself and am going to try it because I think I suck and need all the help I can get.

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