I am SO very lucky to have been included in my surrogate baby’s first birthday celebration!
Question: Do I Feel an Attachment To My Surrogate Children?
January 6, 2011 By 14 Comments
Yesterday I was bored so I opened up my blog to taking your questions. If you can think of anything at all you want me to talk about or answer, leave me a comment and let me know. It’s kinda fun to see your questions. Anyhow, my friend Stefani from Mommy Enterprises asked the first one:
Okay, I have a good one!
Since you have been a surrogate mother, do you feel a bond still between the surrogate babies. I think it is so awesome that you have done this for others. It is definitely not something that I could ever do as I don’t really like being pregnant. I have been curious if there is still any attachment still there?
Short answer: No, I have no attachment to the babies, I never have.
I am so very lucky because I get regular updates on the children from their families. My picture for this post is new Christmas pictures of the triplets I delivered in 2007 and Baby J who was born this past May. I receive the pictures, either text or email, and I think, “Oh my gosh! What a CUTE kid! I can’t believe how big they’ve gotten!” But that’s really about it. I love the pictures, I’m happy to see them. But I don’t feel “love” or “attachment” to the children. My heart doesn’t ache to hold them or anything like that. Not at all.
I suppose it is a little like being an aunt. I see my nieces and nephews, I love them, I care about them, but I certainly don’t want them or feel like they belong to me.
When you are pregnant with a surrogate baby, you feel protective. I think anyone would feel protective of a baby that they were in charge of caring for, right? Whether that be for a few hours or like a surrogate, for a few months. But then you are happy to hand them over to their parents!
I feel the most happiness for the parents and the families that I helped create. I care for my former “intended parents” a lot and I get joy from seeing their happiness. That’s enough attachment for me.
A Visit With My Surrogate Baby!
November 27, 2010 By 14 Comments
It is hard to believe that my surrogate son is already six months old! Where does the time go? And for a side-note here, my surrogate triplets turned three years old this week, too. It’s just crazy.
Lucky for me, my most recent surrogate baby lives in the same state as I do (as opposed to the Triplets who live in Europe). This means I actually get to see him, and what a fabulous treat that is! His family came down to Southern California for the Thanksgiving holiday and took some time out of their schedule to come see me.
We went bowling.
(Anthony’s choice)
Baby J is just so sweet and happy. I don’t think he stopped grinning, until he got too hungry and was having a hard time nursing on account that bowling alleys are very noisy.
Yes, I said “nursing.” J’s mommy induced lactation and he has been exclusively breast fed since his birth. I didn’t nurse my own boys past 6 weeks, so 6 months is very cool if you ask me. Especially in our circumstance.
Anthony adored Baby J, and Baby J adored Anthony. Made me feel just a tiny bit sad that Anthony wouldn’t have his own baby brother to dote after in his future…but only a little.
This family is the best. Momma asked me if I felt I got enough pictures and updates from her. How thoughtful is that? I couldn’t have been luckier to find this family to be a part of.
New Pictures of the Triplets
January 9, 2010 By 15 Comments
I was SO excited to get an email from my former IM (intended mother). She sent me some new pictures of the triplets. They are truly beautiful children and I am so lucky that I get pictures and updates from them.
Here are a few more. It made me sad to block out the mommy & daddy’s faces, but since surrogacy is illegal where they live, I wanted to protect their identity. Not like government officials from their country would visit my blog…but still. They are a gorgeous family!
Aren’t they CUTE?
I grew them.
I'm Feeling The Baby Wiggle!
November 7, 2009 By Leave a Comment
I’m only 13 weeks along today with Shannon & Mikes baby, but s/he is already doing it’s happy baby dance in my belly. It’s very exciting!
I was on my surrogate message board a couple weeks ago and was reading how some of the girls were reporting movement. I literally rolled my eyes and thought, “what weirdos, it’s WAY to early to feel a baby.” These girls were a bit further along than I was at the time…maybe 12-14 weeks (I was at 10ish).
I was wrong!
I have been feeling movement for about a week now. Mostly little thumps and wiggles. It doesn’t feel like “butterflies” like the pregnancy books say. At least not to me. It feels more like one of my 3 year olds gently tickling me with their tiny fingers, but from the inside.
It’s unmistakable.
I guess when you are on your 3rd pregnancy and 7th baby, you get better at detecting it.
Our next doctor appointment is on November 24th and they said to expect the big ultrasound on December 17th. I am excited because Shannon and Mike will be down for Thanksgiving and will be able to attend the appointment with me. We always have a great time together, I am very lucky to have found them.
When did you start to feel your babies move? I remember being at Mr. A’s 20 week ultrasound and telling the doctor I had never felt him kick! What a difference between the first and last pregnancy, huh?
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